Long time no see

/ April 06, 2016 /
this is just a flash update of my boring and pathetic life, since no one will read it anyway. i just noticed that this is the 4th month of 2016 and the last time I post something was like the about the time dinosaurs existed which was somewhere around august, '15. so... yeah?


i miss writing. really.

i really wanted to write something here. i always do. i have never forgotten the fact that i have this weird blog with the most idiot title. among the nagging my mom always said about how i wasted my "talents" (as if i have any lol what a joke) by doing nothing, i always think maybe i should just start somewhere and drop a post about a thing or two. who cares if it just a post about my little sister or about korean drama i just watched or about how do i diy my face and hair mask every saturday.

i really like to write and i want to write something actually worth to write about. it is such a pain seeing myself only able to write about my writers' block like.. that is not even a proper material to write about, let alone be my first post since eight months.

but whenever i tried to write about something (mostly fiction stuffs) even before i could reach about 500 words, i stopped. and this fucking annoying part of my brain started to tell me, "it's a trash, it's a trash."

sooo annoying,

i really miss those time where i just had something random popped out in my head and i was like, 'yeah, let's write about it.' really, i cringed so hard and face palmed myself when i read something i wrote from two or three years ago. actually, no, i cringed at everything i wrote whether it is yesterday or years ago. but something i miss about those cringy post is that i post it, i made it, i don't care who read it. i wrote for myself, just for fun. if people like it, it's a big bonus.

you know what? there's a saying that 'i'm busy' is an excuse. no matter who said it, when it is said, it's always an excuse. they said nobody is busy, it is just a matter of priority. sure, i have free time to spazz about kpop or making gifs (newest obsession aha! haha); i have time for doing my assignment for six hours a day (no kidding); i have infinite time for playing with my little cousin (bcs she is the most adorable little thing in the universe); but when it comes to writing, i always feel like i don't have time. even for a paragraph--for something nobody would read. i have personally been avoiding social medias like a plague (i begin to think those are cancerous) and this is the only place i often share my feelings or opinions about something but look how easy it is for me to abandon this place like it is nothing.

well this is just short rants. idk, let me know if you read until this point. xo!

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