/ Desember 07, 2012 /

Why am I writing such a thing to you? Exactly, actually I have no idea. This just came out of my mind and You are the first person (actually not person but I dont know what to call You) that pop out and well, this is me, writing a letter to beloved You. Yeah, I love You, as always.

Should I ask you, kind of "How are you?" thing? No? Good.

Cause if you asked me back so, I really dont know how to answer. Maybe I'm good and healthy outside. Looks perfectly fine, doesnt it? Looks like I dont get some kind of heavy problems involved me, or my family, or maybe my friends. I care about them. Now I need them to care about me, but they dont. This just about You and Me, right? So I'll write down some things that crap me out lately. Broke me down and mess me up. Sounds ironic.

I just watched Jack and Jill this morning. That was actually not bad. First half of whole film made me sleepy, cause I just dont get their jokes. So I got nothing to laugh about. But the second half was pretty good. It was all about Jill, who wants to be accepted by everyone, but she can't. Everyone's thinking she's sort of creepy and annoying, even her twins. That stuff's making her sad but you know, happy ending thing. I'm not good at telling story, you've to watched it Yourself, and even that's not the point.

The point is, actually, I get some jealous to her. I really am.

I mean, she can do whatever the hell she wants to do! And that was the point. Before I had watched it, I thought life was about that thing. Being yourself, do the things you love, and forget what done. Maybe it is. That's the truth and nothing else.

Now I'm feeling desperate. I know You know I feel, but consider that You may miss some details, I told you. I told you that I feel like I'm drowning in a cold, strange, uncommon place, called sea of sadness. I thought this journey is about walking across land of happiness. But I just realized I was wrong. This sea's full of salt, coldness, wetness, and there's no smile down here. Only tears, tears, and tears. See? This sea was made up by tears. The worst nigthmare we could ever have.

This is pointless. I know. I hate my life. Forgive me of not being good enough.

Sincerely, my English sucks.

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