Icy Spears.

/ Februari 18, 2014 /
I always tell myself, "It's okay. People break down sometimes." And then I feel bad for telling myself such a thing because in fact, no, I'm not breaking down and it is not sometimes. It is more like constant feeling of drowning at the deep sea, and you have nothing to help yourself. I feel guilty for cannot help myself out when I'm overboard. I feel bad for letting myself down and not being strong enough to get over that sad feeling. Even I feel bad for my existence I think people has known me wouldn't bear, because, forgive me YaAllah, forgive me for having you give me this wonderful life and forgive me if I don't love it enough.

I feel bad for feeling sad because I know I shouldn't. Alot of people out there are trying to survive something more unbearable than me. You know, I should be happy because I'm not surviving cancer, drugs; having abusive parents; being sexually abused; having awfully bad grades constantly. But then again, I feel bad for it because who can control their own feeling and why do I wish I had that power? Feel what you feel, and when it's not good enough, do not feel bad about it. Just feel it instead. You don't have to blame yourself for feeling this sad and thus you were strong enough to accept it.

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